michael’s posterous



April 23, 2009

HAVE A SANDWICH, MIA

I will cut Mia Farrow some slack for all the crap she went through with Woody Allen. Although his new movie with Larry David looks great. But. She is going on a 21 day hunger strike to bring attention to atrocities in Darfur. I think we're all in agreement that it's gonna take a much bigger, fatter star to make this wish happen.


Mia. Shouldn't you be out buying some nets like other good celebs are doing? I can appreciate your feelings about the situation across the oceans. I have empathy. 

But I am fucking tired of you celebs (and I use that term loosely in your case) getting all out there to make their "cause" known. Your "cause" in this case certainly is worthy of a longer attention span than our society is ready to give.

Good idea, poor execution. Try calling David Blaine and see if that big faker wants to try the no-eat stunt. But seriously. You are way too skinny, and just not big enough, celeb wise.

Play to your audience. Know the room. This is an totally evolved group. We're ready for the next big thing. If you really believe in the cause, call Rupert Murdoch and have him put it on  Fox tv, as you waste away...week after week, three times a week... and awareness of Darfur increases. Put it on right after House. It would garner good ratings. If it had a payoff. I certainly don't wish anything bad on you. But know that if you're gonna try a stunt, and that's what this is, know what your getting into. Hows it gonna end? OK, you're not gonna die. BUT...


I expect puke, bile, and then a daily check of your ribs. With Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight.


Mama Mia! Your intentions are good, but as always, you celebs screw the pooch. DO something if you are so inclined. Any schmuck can go on a hunger strike. I've been on an anti-hunger strike for my whole adult life and it hasn't done Jack. Now,John and Yoko, they did it the right way. They stayed in bed for a week. They hated the war and got lots of awareness for their "cause." We, the gen public had nothing to expect from them except maybe some B.O. That would be Ono B.O.!

Give us a stunt we can enjoy. Or just donate behind the scenes. Or actually go there and do something. But have a sandwich. I don't care how much good you've done, or how many kids you've adopted (though you did it before it was cool!). This whole hunger strike is a stupid idea.

Maybe I'm just still pissed about all the publicity stupid Oprah is getting for having an assistant post meaningless crap on Twitter. And Demi, and Ashton, and Diddy and Lay King.

Say, Mia. Have you ever thought about Twittering?


Gnite,


d.

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April 23, 2009

MY LOCAL TEE VEE STATION

Since Janet and I moved fulltime to Ocean City, Md from the DC suburbs in Viriginia, we have started REALLY watching our local teevee station's newscasts. I mean like two inches away from the screen. We like looking at the anchor folks in HD, looking for the little things. Like when Alice Bavis walks away from her shot and is caught walking behind the anchor desk and you see her bum and her clip on mic pac as she hustles past. Or like when Jimmy Hoppa ?!? wears a gigantic Mickey Mouse tie at 12noon news time.
 
You see, we truly embrace the digital age in our old ages. (Some have asked, wish I could tell you I robbed the cradle, but I am currently 50 and the lovely Janet is 46.) We ar eon line all the time and DVR so much stuff when we sit and watch, we sit and watch. For watching as much teevee as we do, we don't sit on our asses all day waiting for good stuff. We, like most of you, DVR thru spots. That makes the Two and a Half Men experience a quick 22 minutes. I must confess to finally admitting the show is funny. Sorry if that hurts my street cred. Word.
 
So when we condense our viewing to when we want to watch it (unless American Idol is on. I must watch that show live, damn it. I hated it in Hawaii when we were in paradise but I knew the Idol I was watching was five or six hours old. I am really telling you too much.), it leaves lots of time for other stuff.
 
We do watch the local news, almost every night. Not having a regular job can afford YOU the same luxury! Our HD local affiliate is channel 16, WBOC. A CBS affiliate, they run lots of local programing. Reasons we watch:
 
1 Story selection. Just tonight, first two stories were: Woman at large after being seen on security camera shoplifting a bottle of Tequila from an Ocean City liquor store. The went with this as their lead. I guess nothing else was bigger today. They showed the tape, and said authorities think she may strike again. Next story: A woman scammed Ocean City out of $1600 by writing letters to the city council, posing as deaf citizens asking for sign language at upcoming events. The city then called her, as she was a sign-er, on record with the them. After a while, they figured out that the woman who was sign-ing at these events was in fact the same woman who was writing the letters requesting someone with her ability. The names and addresses were all fakes. She is in custody.
 
2 The annoying General Manager. This dude is on every single day, either touting their HD set, or saying they'll be going digital, or that you'll need an antenna to get them after the over the air feed goes away. He is a slicky boy, who dresses just so. He LIKES being the GM, and LIKES being on teevee. I LIKE watching him. It's a sickness we share.
 
3 The talent. Here I have almost no critique. For being in such a small market, the main talent is actually good. This station sometimes offers up the rarest of anchor desks, the all male, all white anchor team. Two beefy white guys anchoring, then tossing it to the chunky weather guy. He's white, too. Like in the good ole days :). It stands out, after we've all been used to the standard black/white/asian/other mix on most new shows. And not in a good way. We whites need other folks to help our white balance. But as good as they are, we love discussing how Alice Bavis (looks like a former beauty queen from prom time) wears the same tube top under her business suit every night. How Steve Hammond has about a million freckles on his neck. He must wear a lot of power on his mug. And more inane shit. But it's all though the magic of HD. And because this station has a 'working newsroom' you can see all kinds of stuff in the background. Including the times when a teleprompter screen is ON behind the anchor, in their mass of screens tuned to different channels. IF you can spot the right screen, you can read along with whoever is reading you the news. And then there's Jimmy Hoppa. I shit you not. The guy worked in radio in OC for a while on Froggy 99. His crazy Froggy name was Jimmy Hoppa. I get jokes. So now I move to OC, and he's graduated to doing teevee work, as a friggin anchorman. But he doesn't lose the fake name. I pray the shitstorm doesn't happen on his watch. I sure don't want to hear about the End from Jimmy Hoppa.
 
4 "Uncle Dennis." Last summer, we got some wicked thunderstorms. After the storms had passed, WBOC ran the standard self-congrats promo that, "When weather strikes, we're the one to choose!" Except they kept showing a clip of the chunky weather guy, Dennis Ketteter. Where he was looking at the camera, all the storm info on the screen behind him, saying, "Kids, if Mom and Dad aren't there, think of me as your Uncle Dennis. You might have to go to the basement soon." They probably thought it was showing the 'softer/huggy/watchful' emotion you'd expect from your weather man. I thought kid toucher. And so did Jan. So for about the entire summer, whenever we'd see a shady looking guy, we'd say, "Uncle Dennis."
 
How could you not like watching this? I'm their BIGGEST FAN! I'll wait to hear from them. I've got lots of ideas to spruce up the 'ole HD newsplex.
 
That's why I like my local teevee station.
 
 
Stay Safe!
 
 
d. (If I ever get a job that requires people take me seriously, I'll drop the fake name)
aka MikeS

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April 23, 2009

CLEARING UP THE PODCAST

I have read quite a few very nice Twitter notes about exactly why I'm not doing a podcast with CBS, and why I didn't cave to their rules&regs.


It's simple, like I told them. It's more than the big seven dirties. I told them repeatedly there was no problem avoiding s***,f***, etc. I did that for years on the air.

BUT. When I'm the one trying to return, making a "deal" with no upside (finances? a proposed 50/50 split of any profits)...and just an offer from them to, "Try it for 90 days and we'll see where we are" was a bit too vague for me. Especially with the restrictions that wanted to add on. But I digress. This content issue wasn't about Carlin's Seven. 

My problem was...wait for it...subjective content that is classified as "edgy" or "words that can hurt". A topic as mundane as going to the doctor would be subject to a third party's understanding of the very grey FCC rules (that DO NOT APPLY to internet content).

I would record a show, in theory, and send it to CBS. There, they'd examine and listen to it, cut out whatever they thought was verbotten, and run the rest slapped together.

I'd be relying on a toady to decide what's appropriate. That's worse than doing a live show, and having someone hitting a delay button repeatedly.

I know some of you are upset I didn't just go through with it. That's MY fault for talking about it before it started. 

You can think whatever you like of me and this failed venture, it's your God given right. I think you'd be unhappy with the end product, and I'd be embarrassed by it.

I'd be glad to discuss any other specifics, but this seems to be the number one topic, 24 hours later. 

Hope this helps you understand, and if you're still mad, PissOff! :)


d.
April 23rd
415pm

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April 22, 2009

MADDEN AND THE NBA

Jim Shorts on sports here.


 A good blog topic someone Twitted me was the retirement of John Madden. I heard Pat Summerall, he of the exploding stomach, tell a story about Madden on ESPNradio. He said, "During our first Super Bowl broadcast together, We did our intro and John went to the solo shot. I moved three feet away and got set for my one shot. But we noticed that my headset was under John's seat. He weighed about 340 then, and just sat on it and crushed it and didn't even know it." Good Madden story.

No secret I am gay for him. When I was really getting into pro football at about age 10, he was coach of the Raiders. Then, in a less remembered part of his career he ran through walls in Miller beer ads. From there to the booth, I followed him every step of the way.

I certainly heard all the preaching and ass kissing about how if Madden called the game, it meant it was a big one. Wish I could smart ass my way out of it. I feel the same way. 

But it's that damn video game he'll be best remembered for. Like many of you, I've had it every year, from Sega to Genisis to Playstation to Ninendo to XBox. And it never fails to get better. But his voice is on the game less and less. Those cliched, "Doink" and "Boom" sound bytes use to play every time you moved the joystick. And they became part of the soundtrack of playing the game. Now with that puker play by play troll and good ole turley neck doing color, the  play by play suffers.

FUCK! DID I JUST WRITE THAT? AM I WRITING FOR GAME PRO FOR SENIORS? 

What's next, my Wii bowling tips? Back to Madden.
Yes, he was the best and good for him for quitting when he wanted. That bus must smell like pure shit, though. Can you imagine changing the septic unit at some campground after he'd taken a cross country jaunt from San Diego to Green Bay? How about the mattresses? The sofa cushions? The carpet. Imagine the ringworm underneath that plush shag Outback Steak Haus orange carpet. I'll miss him, but both games go on. The NFL and the video game version.

I'll tell you one thing that gets me though the off NFL season. It ain't the jive programming on the NFL Network. No offense, nearly bald Rich Eissen. The NBA is my go-to from SuperBowl til the NBA Finals. Who watches a Thursday night Golden State/Portland game at 10:30pm? I do. At least the first half. When there isn't "quality" programming like Idol on, and I'm in control of the remote it's the NBA by default quite often. And I'm glad. Because while Janet likes watching the panty waist Mentalist, it's great that most times SOME game is on. And if Shaq's playing, forget it. I stay up til 1am to watch him. He alone has kept me from a year's worth of NCIS reruns.

I still like the Bulls vs the Celts. And Duane Wade is a force to be reconed with. Then....blah blah blah and Lebron vs Kobe. Then real football. And the cycle continues.


d.

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April 22, 2009

Ever Forward

I just looked at some of my responses and I look like a little whiney kid!
 
No more what if or could have been.
 
Live in the now, and this is it.
 
I finally can feel my balls again! The kick in the nuts gas worn off.
 
Back 2 normal. Thanks for being my support group!
 
We're out and enjoying the day.
 
 
d.
Sent from my iPhone

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April 22, 2009

PODCAST DONE BEFORE IT STARTED

I am totally wrecked right now. After two months of talking, meeting, and more talking, it turns out there will be NO podcasting for me via CBSradio.


Here's why: Content, and ON THE AIR restrictions. 

After we shook hands last week and I started Twittering about it, I opened a nice surprise email bundle from CBS. It contained a copy of these documents/pamphlets.

'CBS RADIO INDECENCY POLICY

                        and

'CBS RADIO: WORDS THAT HURT AND HARM'

Only then did I realize that CBS was going to hold an OFF the AIR podcast to the same 'standards' as if it WERE being broadcast over the FCC airwaves.

The execs at CBS did tell me they didn't do their due diligence  correctly. It was only AFTER we had an agreement they 'discovered' the CBS corporate policy and let me know.

Don't get me wrong. I long to broadcast. When I walked away from my job and my paycheck a year ago, it was to get my shit together. Job done. I'm ready and eager to go back to work. However, CBSradio controls my rights until October 2010. 

After deciding there was no current slot for me on their stations, we started the podcast dance. I'm quite sure that a podcast that would be edited for content and language would not exactly be what you'd want to hear. Or I'd want to do. A watered down show would be embarrassing.

It would be one thing to be held to these ridiculous standards IF I were going back to broadcast radio. But to do a podcast? No way. 

I promise you IF they had mentioned this AT ALL in ANY of our conversations, I would have said no thanks. As a matter of fact, we discussed the creative luxuries podcasting provides.

I have discovered in the last year how much broadcasting means to me, and how much the people who have listened to me over the years mean to me as well.

The LAST thing I would do knowingly would be to jerk your chain about a return. The second to last thing I'd do is a half assed subjectively edited long form podcast.

So unless some other P.O.S. station in OceanCity/Salisbury comes knockin, I'm CBS's bitch until October 2010.

I am sorry for ever having publicly brought this up. I have standards, and this project just fell way below them.

Thanks for all your continued support. I'll still Twitter and blog. But today I am bummed out of my mind. I have been blessed to have been rewarded for my hard work over the years, and at this point have a desire to return that is fueled simply by my passion and love for broadcasting. And interacting with people. 

Translation: I don't need the bucks (wouldn't turn down my old salary, tho). I just have loved radio for 35+ years. It's my career and my hobby. I'll get back in when the current contract situation is up. I would do almost anything to get back in.

Just not like this.


I really hope you understand and can accept my apology.


Now we're off to find a bar open at 9am!


d.

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April 21, 2009

I AIN'T AFRAID OF THE INTERNETS ANYMORE!

2nd pep talk topic: the WWW. Must admit, years ago I was intimidated by the old web, with all it's wild west attitude. Sometime during the last few years tho, I started to sway the other way as I was doing more and more online stuff.
 
I can't imagine myself 5 short years ago Twittering, Facebooking... and now this crap, too.
 
Now it most likely will be the only way I have to communicate with you.
And I am an official creepy internet person.
 
I HAVE BECOME HIM, AND HE IS ME.
 
Ironic, wouldn't ya say?
 
 
d.
 
ps Idol results Twittered after show airs EST Spoiler alert I spill all (what a PerezHilton I am)!

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April 21, 2009

FIRST TRUE BLOG (SHOCK): AMERICAN IDOL

Howdy all. So why do I love this piece of crap reality show, now in it's eight season? More more reasons than Simon Cowell, actually. But I DO have a love/hate affair with this program.
  That's the first point about this show. Whoever sits in the other two (or three) stools (I always think BM when they take their' stools' during execution shows) is irrelevant. I don't care how late the show is running, or how many fucking promos/product placements/plugs you have to get in, but I have a suggestion. Wrap it all around making sure the fancy lad gets his airtime. THEN start everything else. I hate, and I love. But their production is at fault, first and foremost.
  They do it bassackwards. Load up in the first half hour with worthless filler, then speed up in the last 10 minutes when you suddenly realize you're up against the clock. That sounds like the way a certain radio show I used to work on ran things :).
  Here's a solution for the perky skinny Brit who produces the show!
   First rule: Get all the spots in. Second rule: everybody sings. Third rule: Simon gets to talk, alot. Fourth rule: See rule #1.
 
  *sidebar: I hate the whole :) thing. But I do find it necessary to indicate :) sometimes, otherwise I'm worried people won't understand my slant on things. *
 
  Second and final point:
  They just need to get some uptight a-hole program director I used to work for, and let him run the show. I promise you he'd 'let Simon be Simon' and would whip the rest into the wallpaper they are.
  I suggest: Tom Bigby. Tom is a real pro, and is currently kicking ass in Dallas for cbsradio, running their new FM sports station. That's after years of running the legendary WIP/Philadelphia (still one of my favorite radio stations ever, especially during Eagles season). Tom understands talent, understands formatting, and is a giant asshole :). There it is again.
  I love the show because with all the theatrics, forced excitement, overload of commericials and generic reality show soundtrack, it still becomes riveting viewing.
   Because of the theatrics, etc. kind of like the way the great old top40 radio stations used to be. All flash and shine, big and loud, with little substance. Just a place for the great unwashed to get their fix of music. True audio candy.
  Maybe that's why I like it. I also like the fact that the show bucks the trend by having the Idols singing songs from the 70's and 80's on a regular basis, year in and year out. Songs that radio stations wouldn't be caught dead playing today. I don't when radio turned into trying to be the coolest kid in school, but that corner has been turned. Except radio is now like the kid who "thinks" he's cool, but is actually one or two lunar phases late. Yo, whazzup, my brothuas? That guy.
  Maybe it's just because I like pop music and bright lights. And Cowell. Before I leave you, know this: As gay as I am about this show, I sit and cut it to pieces while watching, every week. I feel like a battered wife!
  I want to get out, but when the Cops come to the door of my trailer, I just can't let them take away my Simon! I've got to go. Time for dinner then....you know.
  This ends the world's longest run on sentence. Have a good night.
 
  d.

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April 21, 2009

Let's try this again

Balls. Balls. Balls on chin. Milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made.

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April 21, 2009

BLOG

OK, here we go. This will be your site for Podcast updates & notes over 140 characters (twitter!)....while DonGeronimo.com is under construction.

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